On Communication

Communication is a tricky thing.

When we explain something to somebody we encode information, a concept, an idea.  You might think that what is important is the words that are chosen but that's only a small part of the picture.  How it is said, where it is said, facial expression and gestures actually contain a whole heap of extra information.  Once this encoding has taken place we're relying on all of it being decoded by someone else in a manner consistent with our intent.  That person is going to filter the complete encoded message through their senses, thoughts, feelings, values, needs and wants and come up with their own interpretation of what we're communicating.  So how can we ever know for sure that this inherently flawed process has worked the way that we intended?

One thing we can be sure of is that, regardless of our intent, the reality is we have to deal with the reality of how that message is perceived by the other party.  Moreover, undoing that initial perception can take a lot more work than what it took to create it in the first place.  Effective communication takes place when your desired effect is the result.  If you're not getting the result you want then it's a really good idea to try and work out what the barriers are.

So please, think carefully about what you say, what you ask and what your intended result is.  Spend some extra time making sure the message is clear and be accountable when its not.